Tips for designing your community rituals

Turn small habits into meaningful traditions

Photo by Jennie Brown on Unsplash

Today’s my birthday, and that’s got me thinking about traditions. I don’t make a big deal out of my birthday, but we have some fun ways to celebrate with our kids.

Of course we have the standards like balloons, parties and birthday cake, but they also humor me with a quick day-in-the-life interview to capture some of their current likes and dislikes. They know to count on me to meticulously freeze half of their cake to serve six months later — complete with their favorite dinner, singing half the birthday song, and celebrating the midway mark to the next year.

Traditions are part of what makes a family a family.

Enjoy this photo of 4-year-old me with my homemade, almost-definitely-from-a-box birthday cake. Traditions are not about perfection; they're about meaningful moments like this.

Did you ever stop to think about how a tradition starts?

Before it was a tradition, it was a ritual. And before it was a ritual, it was a habit.

In Wendy Wood’s Habit Lab at the University of Southern California, researchers estimate as much as 50 percent of what we do comes from our habits.

​A few weeks ago, I wrote about decision fatigue – how every decision we make tires our brains a little more. Habits are automatic decisions we don’t have to think about, which is why your brain loves them.

When you invite others to match their habits to yours, you create a strong sense of belonging. From a community standpoint, that’s important, because it’s what’s going to get people to their ultimate goal.

Individual willpower will only carry you so far, but when you get swept into a group habit – a shared ritual we all do together – making progress becomes so much easier.

Inside The Hive, we follow a 90-day rhythm, with quarterly, monthly, and weekly group rituals.

Whether it’s coming together to plan a season’s worth of activities (a quarterly ritual) or popping in to post Monday intentions (a weekly ritual), our members know there’s a safe place to come connect over shared goals.

Here are some tips for building valuable rituals in your community:

• Start from your members’ point of view. They joined your community to get from Point A to Point B. What small, repetitive action will move them steadily closer to their goal?
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• Present the action in a friendly, approachable way. Our “Greet the Week” post in 🐝The Hive feels easy – just post one thing that would make this week great.
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  The upshot is it creates a mindset shift that helps members prioritize tasks and focus on what’s important, which will move them forward on their journey.
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• Rituals can also support community goals and values. I want Hive members to find meaningful connections and friendships. Our Friday celebration posts are a chance to bring our whole selves to the conversation, and to celebrate one another’s personal and professional wins.

Finally, remember that traditions aren’t built in a day. You may need to tell your members over and over about a ritual before they contribute. You might even reach out in a different medium – ie. email, social media, direct message – and personally ask them to chime in.

Like exercising or organizing or any other positive habit, the habit of sharing in community rituals takes time to form. Be patient and keep your eyes on the real goal: it’s not “getting engagement” (yuck), it’s helping members get more out of their membership.

We’re better together,

Ready to build a thriving community without feeling lost, overwhelmed, or alone? The Hive is a space where community founders support one another as they build and scale profitable communities.