The space between all or nothing

What happens when your body whispers “slow down” but your community needs you?

Photo by Europeana on Unsplash

Sometimes the most valuable lessons come wrapped in irony.

This past fall, I found myself leading masterclasses about scaling up and expanding reach – all while my body was quietly (and then not so quietly) urging me to scale back. Between managing POTS symptoms, weathering Hurricane Helene's impact on WNC, and navigating new medical complexities with one of our boys, life was sending a clear message: slow down.

The contradiction wasn’t lost on me. Here I was, teaching others how to build bigger platforms and broader influence, while my heart was yearning for retreat and my doctor was prescribing rest.

The choice between "all in" or "burn it all down" is a false one.

That all-or-nothing thinking had served me well in many ways. I have the degrees and accolades to prove it. Over-perform, work harder, excel at everything – it's a formula that can carry you far. Until it can't.

Community work is particularly tricky because it never really stops. We're leading groups across time zones, holding space for delightfully messy humans (whom we genuinely care about!), and constantly dreaming up new ways to serve. 

For those of us with that signature blend of empathy and vision, it's easy to keep pushing forward, even when our inner wisdom is waving red flags.

Just this week in The Hive, we talked about this exact tension. One of our newest members, Katie Kastner, offered a practical starting point: Instead of focusing on managing your time, start by assessing your energy capacity. What do you actually have to give—considering your current season, your family's needs, and your health—and plan from there.

When we begin with our energy capacity rather than just available time, we make decisions that honor both our work and our wellbeing. We create space for what matters most today.

Time is our most precious resource.

You might argue that it's money. And yet you could lose all your money and, with time and effort, make it back. (We've all heard those comeback stories.) Time is different. Once it's spent, it's gone. There's no making more.

I'm learning to be generous with my money but thoughtful with my time. To recognize that some seasons call for expansion while others demand we pull back. To trust that our communities can actually grow stronger when we model this kind of authentic integration.

We cannot continue to hold space for others without first caring for ourselves. Nothing truly inspiring comes from burnout.

This is why we're focusing this quarter in The Hive on building not just profitable communities, but sustainable ones – and lives we genuinely love to lead. Not just in theory, but in practice.

If you're wrestling with similar questions about balance, sustainability, and what it means to lead with both ambition AND gentleness, I'd love for you to join us. We've opened up a two-week free trial of The Hive, where you'll find curious, kindhearted leaders all working to build meaningful communities while honoring their own wellbeing.

And this Wednesday, we're hosting a special workshop with compassion expert Sara Schairer, who'll share how self-compassion isn't just a nice-to-have – it's essential fuel for creating the vibrant community and balanced life you dream of. Join us here.

Time might be finite, but possibility isn't. Sometimes the path forward isn't about doing more – it's about choosing better.

Trust your pace,

If you've been feeling the tension between growth and sustainability in your own community leadership journey, Sara's workshop on Wednesday might be exactly what you need. She'll be sharing practical tools for using self-compassion as fuel for both your community and your wellbeing. RSVP here.

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