How to re-engage quiet community members
Silence doesn't always mean disinterest. Here's how to reconnect—and why it matters more than you think.
If you're building a community, chances are you've wrestled with two big fears:
Will enough people join to make it sustainable?
And once they do—how do I keep it alive?
In almost every conversation with community founders, one theme comes up again and again:
What do we do about the quiet members?
The ones who joined with enthusiasm but have drifted quietly into the background. The ones who aren't showing up in conversations. The ones we start to worry we're failing.
They're still here. They're still paying attention (even if it's from the edges). But they aren't participating in the way we hope—and it's tempting to read that silence as a sign of disengagement or even disinterest.
It's more complicated than that.
The Cost of Silence
When members go quiet, we lose more than just their participation.
We lose fresh perspectives, the ripple effect of their encouragement, and the opportunity to serve them more deeply. We lose the chance to help them find their place.
And sometimes, we lose faith in ourselves as leaders.
But silence doesn't always mean what we think it does.
What Silence Often Means
In my work with communities, I've learned that quiet members are often still receiving value—they're just navigating hidden barriers:
"I'm not sure where I fit yet."
"I'm intimidated by how much others seem to know."
"I'm overwhelmed and don't know where to start."
"I'm afraid of getting it wrong."
Recognizing these quiet signals lets us meet members where they are—not where we assume they should be.
Building Bridges Back to Belonging
When a member goes quiet, they don't need pressure. They need gentle bridges back to connection.
Small, thoughtful gestures can reignite belonging:
A personal invitation connected to something they once shared: "I remembered you mentioned working on a podcast launch. How's that coming along?"
A reminder that it's never too late to rejoin: "No need to catch up on everything—I'm just glad you're here."
Choose one event or discussion this month and send five personal invitations to quiet members, each with a specific reason why you think they'd find value. Notice how different the response is compared to general announcements.
True community leadership isn't about getting everyone chatting.
It's about making sure no one feels lost.
The Hidden Magic of Quiet Members
Some of your most devoted members will never be your most vocal. They renew year after year, refer others privately, and apply what they learn in ways you may never see.
Their value isn't always visible—but it's very real.
In fact, research shows that for every active participant, many more benefit significantly while rarely posting. These members aren't merely "lurking"—they're learning in ways that work best for them.
A Small Invitation
This week, I invite you to think of one quiet member in your community.
Reach out personally with a message that shows you remember something specific about them. Perhaps it's a follow-up to something they shared when they first joined, or a connection to a topic they expressed interest in.
Make the interaction genuine, not transactional. The goal isn't to "get them posting," but to remind them they belong.
If you'd like to talk more about this—how to deepen connection without pushing, how to keep your community vibrant without feeling like you have to do it all—you're warmly invited to bring your questions to our next Monthly Mastermind inside The Hive.
It's happening this Wednesday, and through Friday you can join for just $25 using the code BLADE25. Find all the details here.
✨ Community Spotlight
This week, I'm celebrating Morgan Jackson, a Hive member who leads Light56 Circle.
In a world that often glorifies hustle and perfectionism, Morgan has created something refreshingly different: a community where busy women prioritize themselves in small, joyful ways.
Light56 embraces the philosophy of doing hard things in a light way.
Through Morgan’s ABC method and supportive check-ins, members celebrate progress without the burden of perfectionism.
Morgan’s full story is inspiring—you can read it here.
🌱 Quick Tip: Accessible Community Spaces
A vibrant community is an accessible one.
Some ways to ensure all your members can fully engage:
Mobile-friendly platforms
Alt-text for images
Captions and transcripts
Multiple ways to participate (written, audio, video)
Accessibility isn't just a technical detail. It's critical for safety, inclusion, and belonging.
📗 What I'm Reading
Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World
by
I’m becoming quite the evangelist for this book! Over the past week, I started putting some of Anne-Laure’s practices into action, including keeping "field notes"—a self-anthropology practice where you observe your real patterns with curiosity.
One of my biggest takeaways was recognizing that I have a heart, mind, and soul made for depth—in a world that often rewards speed.
That realization is reshaping how I think about community spaces, too: the importance of honoring both the quick wins that spark momentum and the deeper work that leads to lasting transformation.
With you in the quiet tending,
P.S. If today's reflections sparked ideas—or questions—about how to support your community more fully, you’re warmly invited to join us inside The Hive. This Wednesday, we’ll be gathering for our Monthly Mastermind, where you can bring your engagement questions (and any others you're wrestling with). We’d love to have you with us. 🐝
Through Friday, you can join for just $25 using the code BLADE25.
Have you ever stayed quietly connected to a community—even when you weren't actively posting? What kept you there?
This is so apt reading this now as someone one who is about to re-engage a community she hasn't communcated with for months . Thank you
I am loving Tiny Experiments so far! Thank you. Also, loved your ideas to engage quiet folks in the community. Much needed for the church I serve.